Lucy, Luc Besson (2014)

Beginning with La Femme Nikita, in 1990, Luc Besson has done one thing for twenty-five years. He puts beautiful vulnerable young women in mortal danger, and then he gives them the power to annihilate their enemies. It’s his kink. I suppose you have to admire the consistency.

This one’s garbage.  At least back in 1990 you got a little Jeanne Moreau to add some depth to the fluff. The Obi Wan role this time goes to Morgan Freeman. He must have spent days on set staring wide-eyed in amazement at a green screen, since about 65% of this movie is CGI nonsense. (Do you know what she’s doing in that picture up there? No, she is not playing a laser harp. No, she is not checking out an awesome fiber-optic lamp at Spencer Gifts. She’s seeing the matrix, dude! She’s seeing it!) Even with all the padding Besson can’t quite 90 minutes out of his plodding and novelty-free script; you’ll get 89 only, and lucky you.

Oh weird, I just noticed there’s a another picture of this actress just a few posts down from this one. A lot of what I said there goes double here. Both times out, Johansson is at once all-powerful and completely without human affect. Why would filmmakers think a character with those characteristics would be engaging for audiences? Discuss.


  1. JR Brouwer

    CBS is trying to appeal to a younger audience by canning David Letterman and putting Steven Colbert in his chair (we’ll see…). If the New Yorker wants to follow suit, they should hire you to write the short movie reviews. Send them this one as your audition piece. See what happens.

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